Shahrukh Ahmad

You wake up to the not so likable alarm sound of the mobile, seeing that it is already snoozing from fifteen minutes you realize that you are already late in today’s race by nine hundred seconds. You throw the blanket aside and wear the yellow slipper which you have bought when you saw that it was being sold at forty percent discount on some online shopping site. You rush to the bathroom calling your spouse’s name of which you didn’t get a reply. You get fresh, take bath and pick up the newspaper to see what shit is happening around you. You come to know that the government is again increasing taxes. You abuse the finance minister and walk to the kitchen. Your spouse is making something, you step ahead and your spouse asks about the home loan for which you were talking a week ago. You didn’t reply. You take a glass and drink the normal water coming from the tap labeled chilled water of your water purifier because you forget to call the repair guy from the water purifier company. You yesterday have made a note for this in your smart phone but as the mobile battery drained you couldn’t see the note and hence forgot. You ask your spouse about the breakfast and you come to know that the daayi is on leave and hence it will take some time to make breakfast. Feeling helpless, you go to the bedroom and see your four year old kid sleeping without worries. You lean and kiss your kid and pray that he may get a better life, at least better than yours. You sit adjacent to your kid and open your laptop. You have been accustomed to check your mailbox within one hour of waking up from the last six years. You open your mailbox and see dozen of mails. You come to know that you have been qualified for a housing loan. Despite being happy you feel worried as you are already burdened with the installments of existing car loan and premium of couple of insurance plans. You have no idea how you will be able to manage a home loan along with this. You hear a notification sound and you pick your smartphone up.
Someone has sent a dirty joke in your-gender-only-whatsapp-group. You read but get no humor out of it. You feel amazed why you laughed like shit on the same jokes when you were in college. You open your weeks old to-do list and realize that you only have done three works from the listed thirteen. You suddenly remember that the month is on end and you have to clear the cable operator dues of two months otherwise your connection will be stopped. You scream to check if your spouse had paid them or not and you feel relieved after knowing that yes it has been paid. You delete the note of cable operator dues but still the list looked long. You didn’t want to do anything from that list, thus you keep your mobile aside. Soon, your nine hundred seconds is going to turn into eighteen hundred seconds, you realize instantly. You wake up hastily and in less than three hundred seconds, you get dressed. You stand in front of the mirror like you have been standing everyday from the last six years. You feel okay and now you take your laptop and keep it inside your leather bag. You check for the laptop charger and find it inside the bag. You go to the kitchen and see your spouse making sandwiches. A smile appears on your face. You eat two sandwiches and feel full. You say your spouse to eat the rest for which your spouse agrees. You search your car keys when your spouse lets you know that it’s the day of odd car numbers and you know that your car’s number ends with eight. You were about to book a cab exactly when your phone rings. It’s your father call. You show this to your spouse and you both feel irritated. Your father and mother are willing to come to your place but you know how hectic it would be. You are making excuses from last one month of work and office tours and the busy schedule of you and your spouse. You pick the call and talk. You feel relieved that your father has decided to come in winters rather than now. You say this to your spouse and a smile slips on both your faces. But deep down you feel low, helpless and culprit of something unknown. You know that it’s been six month you haven’t seen your mother and father and they too wanted to see you. You didn’t let these feelings overcome you and you book a cab instantly. You ask your spouse to check to the nearest Play School for admissions after coming from office. Your spouse replies in affirmation. You take your bag, kiss your kid’s forehead and give a peck on your spouse’s cheek and leave your flat.
You are in the lift when you get the call from the cab driver. You pick the call but being in the lift your voice is not audible and the call disconnects. You reach the ground floor and run to the main gate of your residential colony. You see a white car standing. You rush and ask if the booking was yours and after the confirmation you take the back seat of the car. You check your mobile and see the second last call of baba. You remember when you got typhoid in your college and your father came the next day to see you. You lock the mobile screen and look outside. The car moves slowly and then speedily when the driver sees the road empty. You are lost in thoughts when you hear driver’s voice. You fail to understand. You say sorry and the driver asks again if you work for some big company. You deny saying that the company you work for is just okay. You open the cab app in your smart phone and get to know his name. The driver again says that he too wanted to work for a company but he couldn’t. You better being lost in unnecessary thoughts think it good to continue talking to him. You ask him why he couldn’t work for a company, of which he replies that when he was in college his mother was severely ill and his father being physically challenged he had to left his studies to support his family, and from that time, he was driving vehicles. You feel sorry for him but see that the driver was happy revealing his tragic past. You get confuse and ask what’s making him smile. He says that today he is going to his village and will take his father and mother here. You feel humiliated and disturbed. You didn’t ask anything more and check your call log and see baba written. You again feel culprit of something unknown. You see the driver’s face in the rear view mirror of the car. He seems happy and content. You see your face in the locked screen of your smart phone. You feel like you are losing something. Something piled up instantly on your heart and you are feeling suffocated. You didn’t ask anything and soon you reach your office. You pay the driver and rush to your office at the second floor. You punch your thumb and forty five minutes late is recorded in the biometric attendance machine. You enter the office putting a broad smile on your face despite the fact that your mind is continuously fighting with your heart. Your heart need answers of numerous questions for which you have tricking it for long. You have a good mind, which every time makes your heart understand. You are a master of making yourself understand no matter how brutal the condition gets, and you are proud of it. Proud of being in control for the sake of people around you, whom you don’t even knew for the first twenty three year of your existence. You compromise on everything to stay respected among such people.
You take your seat and power the desktop. You remember yesterday’s pending works and start finishing them as early as you can. You get engross in work so that you couldn’t think of anything else. Hour by hour the time passes and you are glued in front of your desktop. You realize that people have started going home and you check your smartphone, it’s already half past eight in the evening. You realize that again you have few of the day works pending. You tell yourself that tomorrow you will not leave any work exactly as you said this to yourself yesterday. You pack up and book a cab. Odd day, you remember.
You step out of the office and take the stairs when you hear your mobile buzzing. It’s your father. You remember the morning cab driver instantly, and his smiling face. You feel burdened but you receive the call. Your mother is on the phone. She is wailing. She says that your father took his last breathe few minutes ago. You hear the words in exact but you don’t wanna believe them. You pretend that you didn’t hear her voice. You say couple of high pitch hellos and cut the phone. You feel a complete lack of coordination between your mind, heart and body. You are holding your tears bravely. You know you are in office and somebody might see you crying. You are unable to move. You take the support of the wall. You open your smart phone and dial your spouse number. Your spouse didn’t pick the call. You feel your heart sinking. You open the gallery of your mobile and see a selfie of yours with your mother and father which you had taken a year ago. You couldn’t control anymore.
You scream loud.